


Studying Humanity

by Pureblood_Slytherin



Series: Studying Humanity [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Outbound Flight - Timothy Zahn
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, And this might turn into a really cheesy romance, Belonging, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Going to Corellia, Probably totally out of character, Xenophilia, language learning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:55:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24610417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pureblood_Slytherin/pseuds/Pureblood_Slytherin
Summary: Thrawn goes on a field trip to learn more about humanity. His partner of choice: Maris Ferasi.
Relationships: Maris Ferasi/Thrawn | Mitth'raw'nuruodo
Series: Studying Humanity [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1859278
Comments: 20
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

A/N: This story takes place about six months before the book “Thrawn”.

****Studying Humanity****

Prologue

Maris Ferasi walked as slowly as possible while the Bounty Hunter dragged her down a poorly lid corridor.  
“Let go of me, you sorry son of a space slut.” She cursed, but he only laughed darkly and pushed her through what sounded and felt like a door, but it was hard to tell with a sack over her face. Here and there she could make out flashes of light while fighting to get enough oxygen into her lungs through the thick fabric, but that was it.  
“Here she is.” The Trandoshan hissed in broken Sy Bisti.  
“Show me her face.” Another person said the voice was distorted by a mechanical voice changer, but it had a definite male timbre to it.  
A quick movement and Maris could see again, or at least try to do so, before she quickly closed her eyes again to protect herself from the gleaming light.  
“Good work bounty hunter.” The man next to the viewport said and suddenly a secret compartment of the desk in front of them opened, presenting them with a pile of Republican credits.  
“This is not what we agreed upon.”  
“They are exchangeable.”  
“Yes, but with such an amount there will be questions.”  
“I am sure a bounty hunter of your expertise will find a way.”  
“That’s easy for you to say. The Empire is no friend of my kind.”  
Maris could see his indecision; however, it was also apparent that the Trandoshan needed the money.  
“It is either that or nothing.”  
He made an alien, reptilian sound, but Maris was somehow sure it was a sign of disapproval.  
But then he reached out and took the money. There was no goodbye and the bounty hunter just left, leaving Maris alone with the strange man.

She had been terrified before as Trandoshans were fierce warriors, still, she was now more nervous than before. She had absolutely no idea why she was here. And who in the name of the Force should place a bounty on her head? And why? Her mind was on fever and she didn’t know she was shivering. What had she done to end up here?  
“Who are you?” She finally asked, also in Sy Bisti, but she was much more fluent than the bounty hunter. “And why am I here?”  
The man didn’t answer.  
“I don’t know who you are and what you want, but I can tell you right away that I have no money and I’m done with smuggling. If this has anything to do with Cardas’ new organization – Well, I don’t work for him. Our paths separated a long time ago.”  
“I did not come for money.”  
“Then what do you want?”  
“Information.”  
Information? What was he talking about? She had no information about anything!  
“Look.” Maris shook her head and made a rather large gesture with her hands. “You must have mistaken me for someone else. I am sure you have heard that before, but I promise you, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She laughed. “I possess absolutely no valuable information. Honestly, nothing I could tell you is worth listening to.”  
“All thoughts are worth listening to, whether later judged to be of value or not.” Maris froze. She had heard that before. Her eyes scanned the figure in front of her. He was about the right height and build. Could it truly be him?  
“Commander?” She asked quietly, her voice somewhere between disbelieve and excitement.  
He took off his helmet and then ran a hand through his slightly messed up hair.  
“I am pleased to see your memory is still as good as I remembered it to be.”  
Maris just gaped at the Chiss.  
“Commander Mitth’raw’nuruodo!” She said again, now beaming. “What are you doing here?”  
He winced at his name.  
“Another thing that hasn’t changed.”

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This fanfiction doesn’t follow a plan. I just thought it might be a good idea and that maybe I could write a page every evening. Let’s see how this works. ;)

**1**

Maris was still more or less in shock, while he gestured to some chairs in front of the desk.

“Why don’t we sit down? I’m sure you have many questions.”

Maris shook her head to clear her thoughts.

“I guess you could say so. Yes.”

He came over with her and before they sat down, he opened her handcuffs, carefully placing them on the desk.

“And you’re angry.” It wasn’t a question.

Maris looked into his red eyes for a second, while massaging her wrists.

“Yes and - no. I mean, I am happy to see you again, but you could just have come by for a visit, you know?”

“I told him not to harm you.”

“He’s a bounty hunter!” Maris said quickly and it sounded harder than intended. “That’s not how you are supposed to treat a friend.”

He sat down on the chair next to her.

“And is that how you see me? As a friend?” 

Maris had never really thought about it and how strange it was to think about it now. Back in the days, they had been Mitth'raw'nuruodo‘s prisoners, though it hadn’t really felt like it and she herself had been dangerously close to developing a little crush on the dashing, young commander. If it hadn’t been for Dubrak and their overall complicated situation – well, there was no point in pondering about the past. But was he a `friend´? Did she know him well enough to call him that? Or was time an overrated or even irrelevant factor?

“I don’t know.” She said finally, studying him. “I guess I did on the Springhawk.”

“So not anymore?” For a second she thought his voice sounded somewhat alarmed. “Because of the bounty hunter?”

Maris shook her head.

“No!....I guess that did not come out right.”

“Good, for I am in need of your friendship.”

Maris raised one of her eyebrows.

“What for?”

The Chiss sighed and looked at his hands.

“It’s complicated and I’m not at liberty to tell you all about it.”

“Wait a second… Not at liberty? So, this is not a social call? You’re…you’re here - on a mission?!” Maris was surprised and disappointed at once. Surprised because she couldn’t imagine what kind of Chiss mission needed her involvement and disappointed because he had not come to see her.

 _Come on Maris, you stupid cow. He hasn’t written or called in over ten years, so OF COURSE, he hadn’t come to visit her!_ Apparently, she had misjudged the situation. She HAD had a crush on the Commander.

“Yes and I apologize for the bounty hunter, but my superiors did not allow me to venture into Imperial space without a trustworthy guide.”

“You want me to be your guide?”

“In a matter of speaking. As I said, I need information.”

“About what?”

“Humanity.”

Maris gaped at him.

“Why? As far as I remember the only thing Admiral Ar’alani was interested in was us leaving.”

“Admiral Ar’alani does not speak for all Chiss and things have changed since.”

“The Empire?”

“Yes, but also within the Ascendancy.”

That sounded pretty ominous and Maris didn’t like it. The Chiss were very much like Humans, which also implied the possibility of intrigue and powerplay. Her silence did not go unnoticed.

“You do not wish to help me to understand your people?”

“Yes, of course I do!” _Why was this so complicated?_ “You helped me to understand your people and I would love to return the favour, but you are here on a _mission_.” She put heavy emphasis on the last word and felt terrible at the same time. Hadn’t she just said that she considered him a friend? Yes, him, not the entire Chiss Ascendancy. The terrible truth was that Thrawn was a military commander and as far as she could tell the Chiss made a point of studying their enemies before eliminating them. On the other hand, this was Thrawn! He would never do that. He had been so nice and cultured and noble and - without a warning, the memory of the Outbound Flight destroyed the perfect picture. No, Commander Mitth'raw'nuruodo was no stranger to murder. But that didn’t make him a bad person! He had had his reasons; good reasons and it was his job - he was a soldier!

“The Chiss have no intention to harm you or your people.”

“I did not say that!”

“Maris,” it was the first time, he called her by her first name again. “We need your help. Do you trust me?”

And there was the whole dilemma in a nutshell. She, Maris Ferasi, was too trusting. She knew it, and he knew it too. That’s why he had come to her. Dubrak hated him, Jori liked him, but would not necessarily trust him, she on the other hand….. Maris sight. Her trust had been misused before…. _Blast it!_

She looked into his eyes again. No, Commander Mitth'raw'nuruodo would not let her down.

“I do.”

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**2**

"There is no logic to your language." The Chiss said as he studied the ship's cockpit-controls.

"I tried to figure them out on my own before you arrived, but failed."

Maris smiled. His understanding of Basic was still surprisingly good, but speaking and reading would be hard work and Thrawn had said Basic was his top priority. He had called it the "key" to Humanity and the longer she thought about it, the more she had to agree, so their language lessons had more or less started right away. At the moment, they were working on the vocabulary of the ship’s interior.

He pointed at one of the buttons at the top.

"That one for example."

Maris laughed.

"That's because it’s not really Basic. It's a loan word."

"Loan word." He tried out the new word. "What is a loan word?"

"We ‘lend’ it from a different language."

"So it is not Basic?"

"Now it is."

"You _stole_ it?"

"How can you _steal_ a word? Language is changing all the time, it’s adapting, and sometimes it's just simpler to use a foreign word than to invent a new one."

The Chiss seemed to think about this for a while.

"I guess you’re right." Though his reaction showed her that the Chiss probably had no loan words.

"And what about that word?" Again, he pointed at a colourful button. "Shouldn't it end like this one?"

Maris was amazed at how quickly he had spotted the conjugation-patterns. Most Humans wouldn't be able to it without language lessons.

"Yes, you are right, but that word is an exception."

"Exception." Even through his still thick accent, Maris was sure she had heard disapproval in his voice.

"For every rule, there is an exception. So you always follow the rule, except when there is an exception, in which case you follow a new rule based on that exception." Maris smiled. _The delights of language learning!_

"That is neither logical nor efficient."

"No, it's not. Consider it your first lesson in Humanity: We have rules and exceptions to rules."

He did not look too happy.

"Exceptions are a good thing.” Maris said cheerfully. “Because they clearly mark the possibility of failure. You cannot anticipate everything and if a rule doesn't work for a very specific situation, you can have an exception."

"Or it's not a well-thought-through rule.” He looked concerned. “You seem to have a great many exceptions."

“I guess so.” Maris smiled. She had always thought that Thrawn had simply left out Cheneu exceptions to not confuse them, but now she was certain they didn’t have any. And somehow the strict system fit them. There were rules and those rules had to be followed. End of story. Maris winced. Corellia might be harder to swallow for the Commander than he might have thought. It was a pretty chaotic place, but it was also her home and the place where she worked and she couldn't just take a vacation because Thrawn had decided to visit her. If anything, she needed her job now more than ever. Rents were high and now she had two mouths to feed. At least she thought so. He probably wouldn't find his way around in a hotel and how should he pay for it? Well, he had had Republican credits for the bounty hunter...but those had probably belonged to the Ascendancy and she had no idea if he had more. And what kind of host would she be asking questions like _"Are you planning to stay at my place? And for how long? Will you pay for the food?"._ Sith, she hadn't even had the courage to ask for how long he wanted to stay! The only thing she had figured out so far was that he wanted to spend time with her in order to learn Basic and study Human customs. Sounded easy, but probably wasn't.

Maris took a sip of tea while looking out of the older freighter’s viewport.

"Did you volunteer for this job?"

"Volunteer?" The Chiss asked confused.

"Did you want to do it? Or were you ordered to go?"

"They asked me, but yes, I volunteered for the mission because I was the only one who has had...."

He made a break to ask for some more words.

"Thank you - …. because I was the only one who has had previous contact with Humans and because I know a little Basic." There was a short pause. "And because, after meeting you, I have often wished to go beyond the Chaos."

"The Chaos?"

"That's how we call the space behind Chiss territory. We bring light and order, outside the realm of the Chiss there is chaos."

Maris raised an eyebrow.

"Nice. So I live in the Chaos?"

"No, you live in the Empire. The Chaos is the part between the Chiss Ascendancy and the Empire. It's the space where there is nothing but...." He was looking for the right word. "…. dead planets, dangerous spacial anomalies, pirates and the Vagaari. This is my chance."

"Your chance to see the Empire?"

"No, more than that. You have to learn if you want to grow as a person, or as a society. The best way to do that is to go into the unknown, into unfamiliar territory where the language and customs are different and where you have to learn your way around."

"So you think the Ascendancy has to change?"

"Life is change, which makes adaptation an essential survival skill."

That was true, but as far as Maris remembered the Chiss lived in some sort of multi-monarchical caste system, with several `ruling families´ and a clear distinction between commoners and aristocrats and for obvious reasons such systems were not interested in change. It was a miracle that such an anachronistic system turned out to be so technically and philosophically advanced. Well, it was not her place to question Thrawn's objectives. He wanted to learn and he had chosen to learn from her, which in itself was great - even if it had only been a choice between three possible candidates. Maris sighed.

"Yes, you are right."

She pointed at the helm.

“Do you know the word for that?”

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

It still felt surreal to Maris. Like some unreal dream. But here she was, Maris Ferasi, having dinner with the man she had had a crush on for years. However, if this had indeed been a dream, the Chiss probably wouldn’t have looked at the food like it was poisonous.

Maris sight.

“It’s getting cold.”

“Is the heat relevant for the dish?”

“With this dish, it is.”

It had been the same last evening. He had looked at everything for a long time, then she had explained each and every item to him and then he had more or less copied her. It felt - weird.

“What is this?”

“Bantha steak with juma sauce and vegetables.”

He slowly tried the vegetables, while expecting Pandora's Box to open at any second. Maris couldn’t blame him, when they had been on the Springhawk they had been cautious about the strange dishes as well, but this seemed a bit - unproportional.

“Are you allergic to anything?”

“Allergic?“

“Yes, allergic.” She repeated. “That’s when you get sick from certain foods.”

“Not that I know of.”

“Or do you expect trouble from eating Human dishes?”

The Chiss shook his head, steadily ate some more vegetables and then stopped to reach for the napkin. Whatever they ate, table manners seemed to be at thing.

“No. I was told that Human and Chiss biology is surprisingly similar and that, theoretically, I should be able to digest Human food without problems.”

“Then, please, try the steak.”

Demonstratively, Maris cut off another piece of juicy meat and placed it into her mouth. This was delicious. Thrawn had no idea what he was missing.

“What you are doing is actually considered rude.”

Finally, she seemed to have gained his attention.

“Why?”

“Because I, as your host, put a lot of effort into preparing this meal for you and you just stare at it. Like it’s terrible or like you would suspect me of wanting to poison you.”

“I do not think that of you.”

“Then try it.”

Finally, he pushed the fork into the meat and took a small bite.

“And?”

“Whatever it is. It’s unexpectedly good.” He cut off another piece and now chewed on it for a little longer. Then he reached out for the glass, took a sip and suddenly stopped in midair.

“This smells like ethanol.”

Maris smiled. “Because that’s what it is. We call it alcohol.”

The Chiss pushed the glass away.

“Why would you drink narcotic substances? And offer them to guests?”

“We do it to relax and to feel good. Alcohol reduces stress temporarily as it increases the uptake of the neurotransmitter GABA. It is quite common to drink it with guests. It lifts the mood and helps to have a good time.” She smiled. “But don’t worry. There is only a very small amount of ethanol in it. It won’t be harmful.”

“Depends on the amount.” The Chiss said and reached for the second bottle on the table.

Maris laughed. “True.”

For a second she tried to imagine him drunk but failed. He seemed far too controlled for that. But still, the thought was amusing.

“Water?”

She nodded and he quickly filled the second glass, taking a large gulp.

“And what exactly is this Bantha steak?”

“A Bantha is a mammal that inhabits the desert planet Tatooine.”

Quietly the Chiss put his cutlery down and starred at Maris.

“I just ate a sentient being?”

“Minor sentient.” Maris corrected, but it was obvious that this dinner could not be saved.

“This is a taboo among the Chiss.”

“There are many Humans too who think we shouldn’t eat meat, but we are omnivores and need animal protein to survive. If we abandon it, we have to take food supplements, which is just as controversial.”

Maris studied his form. Yes, Humans and Chiss were quite similar.

“I would have guessed the same is true for you. What do you eat?”

Thrawn impaled some long, green beans on his fork and slowly continued his meal.

“Food is rare in the Ascendancy. Our homeworld, Csilla, is an ice planet. Nothing grows there. But scientists and genealogists managed to save and grow some plants underground. They use artificial light and greenhouses. Eating the last fishes is forbidden.”

“Fish.” Maris corrected. “There is no plural form of fish.” She winked at him. “It’s an exception.”

“Eating fish is forbidden.” He repeated. “Common people almost exclusively live on protein bars and high energy rations.”

It made sense, though she had never thought of it before.

“We had normal food,” Maris said then.

“You were our guests.”

Oh…. Somehow she felt bad now. Especially when she remembered how they hadn’t always finished their meals and how Dubrak had commented that to him everything tasted like cardboard. How blissfully unaware she had been.

“I’m sorry. I will not cook meat again. And if it makes you uncomfortable, I can finish my meal somewhere else.” She proposed.

“No.” He reached for the cutlery and once again cut through the meat. “I will adapt.”

“When in Coruscant, do as the Coruscanties do,” Maris commented quietly, without really realizing it.

“I thought we were heading for Corellia.”

“Yes. Well, it’s a saying…it basically means, when you go somewhere else, it’s best to acclimatize to the local customs.”

“I agree. Even if those customs are barbaric.”

“That’s a harsh statement for someone who has no problems giving orders to kill sentient beings. Even higher ones.”

“I kill to protect.”

“The motives don't change the result.”

It would always stand between them... 

***

Later on that evening, Maris saw him scribbling something in a dark notebook while sitting in one of the larger viewport’s window-frames. The artistic letters of Cheunh looked beautiful and totally alien at the same time.

“What are you writing?”

“Notes about Humanity.”

“For yourself or for your people?”

“Both. This here is my personal notebook, but we have a file about alien races, I started an entry about Humans after you had left.” He smiled sadly. “I liked it, however now I see that it is ….” He said the word in Sy Bisti.

“Insufficient,” Maris explained.

“Yes, it is quite insufficient.”

Slowly she said down next to him.

“It probably is. And what you’re writing now is only about me. I’m hardly representing Humanity.”

“I know.”

“Do you? I have a feeling Chiss society is far less individualistic and diverse than Human culture.”

“We are different, just like you are. And you only saw the military.”

Perhaps he was right. Still, she doubted he could imagine a place like Corellia with its forests, jungles and large cities. A full, busy and chaotic place, full of Humans, Barbadelans, Czerialans, Kel Dors, Rodians, Sullustans, Twi'leks and so many, many more species. A place where everyone thought of himself first and wanted to stand out in a crowd. A place with crime and dirt, but also a place of culture, joy and beauty.

“We will see.” Maris handed him an old travel brochure about Corellia. The photos were already faded and most of the information about the best restaurants and opening hours where probably outdated, still it would provide him with a broad idea of what was to come.

“We will arrive soon.”

Maris gave him a tired smile.

“Good night, Mitth'raw'nuruodo.”

“Thrawn.” He said then.

Maris turned around.

“You called me Thrawn back then, remember?”

Yes, she had, but ever since he had returned, she had found it hard to call him by his core name. Such a long time had passed and Thrass and all the other Chiss had not liked her calling him Thrawn as it had implied a level of intimacy, which was not only incorrect, but inappropriate at the same time.

“I do, but I also remember that I had no right to do so.”

He smiled ominously.

”Just consider yourself an exception.”

**TBC**


	5. Chapter 5

„You fly on your own?“ The Chiss asked surprised before checking the tightly packed hyperlanes going into Coronet once more. There were hundreds of vehicles - over them, under them, besides them - passing them with heartstopping speed, while every now and then performing some daredevil overtaking maneuvers.

„Are you ready?“ Maris asked.

“No. Actually I have…”

Too late. With a loud noise, the engine came to life and the two passengers were pressed into their seats, leaving the spaceport for hyperlane.

„Holodriver.” Maris cursed while she overtook another speeder.

“Is this save?” The Chiss asked, carefully inspecting his surroundings. “Most of the driving looks….erratic, improvised, almost aggressive and generally too fast for the situation at hand.”

“I agree.”

“But then there is no way you can anticipate what is going on here. Not with all these speeders, not at this speed. This is downright lethal. “

“Probably…” Maris smiled and then activated the music. “…but it’s also a lot of fun.”

By now, Thrawn actually looked concerned.

“Do you trust me?”

“You know I do.”

Maris smiled.

“Then prepare yourself for the ride of a lifetime. And don’t worry. Flying with Rak was a lot more dangerous than this.”

***

“And?” Maris asked, after finally parking the speeder in one of the air garages.

“It was quite… memorable.”

“You were afraid.”

“I do not like not being in control. I felt exposed and vulnerable. That is different.”

“You were afraid,” Maris said again and smiled, but was smart enough to leave it at that.

For a moment, they silently walked through the crowded streets of Corellia, while Thrawn tried to absorb everything. He was like a greedy black hole, digesting a vast heterogeneous mass of information: the atmosphere, sent, air, the people. Every now and then he asked questions and Maris was more than willing to help. To her surprise, she liked herself in the role of a teacher.

“So you prefer the adrenaline rush to safety?”

Maris shook her head.

“It’s not as easy as that. I like safety as much as everyone, but flying is different… Perhaps I will show you one day.”

“I know how to fly.” He sounded almost offended. But she might just as well have imagined that. It was hard to tell with him.

“Flying in space is different. There is much more space in space.” She grinned. “Hence the name. Driving a speeder in Coronet during rush hour.” She shook her head. “That’s an art in itself.”

“It's not art, it's not even remotely art. But it seems to be another Human thing.”

“Well, you just said you don’t like not being in control. It’s the same here: I don’t want to trust some computer program with my life, thus I fly myself. You might enjoy it too.”

The Chiss shook his head. “No. This….” He was struggling for words again but then found the right one. “….traffic is far too dangerous to be enjoyable. As we live mostly underground, we have nothing comparable, but I doubt the Chiss would allow such chaos. It’s remarkable that there aren’t more accidents.”

Maris just laughed.

Finally, they reached her flat.

“Here we are.”

The flat was small, but cozy and furnished with some great bargains she had acquired through her job as a personal assistant to a very outgoing, but less successful interior designer, whose best days lay behind him. If she had any sense, she would leave him soon and start her own business. After all, she didn’t have a university degree for nothing, but something held her back.

“The flat fits you very well.” The Chiss said after inspecting the living room. “It’s tidy, light and welcoming.”

“Thank you.” Maris was sure she blushed a little. Yes, she was a little proud of her flat, but of course, she knew it was nothing grand or spectacular. Still, she had put a lot of effort into it.

“I have no guest room, so you have to sleep on the couch. The bathroom is this way.”

**TBC**

**A/N:** I don’t feel much like writing today. Inspiration just won’t come and I'm afraid whatever I type today might be boring. So I better leave it at that…


	6. Chapter 6

***

A fresh breeze, a sunny blue sky, sandy beaches, sparkling blue water, it was perfect, but the intended reaction did not come.

"Don't you like it?" Maris asked. "I mean it’s...great!"

She gestured at the ocean, the small boats, which sailed in the distance and the far horizon. Thrawn had told her that Csilla was an ICE PLANET! _So there was no way he could not be impressed by this, right?_

But he remained silent. Actually, nothing seemed to shake the stoic Chiss. There was a small smile every now and then or a soft breeze of emotion, but she had never even seen him laugh. He always seemed so ... cold? Controlled? Maris couldn't really say what it was, but right now it annoyed her.

"Don't tell me you have seen the ocean before."

Thrawn turned towards Maris. "It was part of the brochure."

"That's hardly the same."

He could at least say that it was beautiful! _Or perhaps it was too painful to admit his homeworld was indeed NOT a nice place?_

"I am aware." He took off his glasses. "However, I do not understand why I should wear these."

Before driving to the beach Maris had brought some suitable clothes and equipment, including sunglasses.

"Sunglasses protect your eyes from UV rays and you can see better."

Every now and then the waves hit her naked feet, while Thrawn made sure to stay out of the water. _Did he know how to swim?_

"The ice on Csilla reflects everything, so our eyes are used to bright light. I do not need these."

Maris wouldn't have minded throwing him into the water. He did not like to `lose´ - that much was obvious. 

"But you look cooler with them."

"Cooler?" He asked.

"More attractive." She explained.

Stoically, and without changing his expression, he put the sunglasses back on.

Maris laughed. At least he had responded to that. Or he was just vain.

"It’s fascinating, really. The concept of attractiveness between two different species. The aliens the Chiss have encountered so far have been radically different from us and even peaceful cooperation in terms of trade was unimaginable, never mind the kind of interspecies cooperation that seems to be common within the Empire." He said while looking at a mixed-species couple and some loudly talking Twi'leks behind them. “I have never seen so many aliens in one place.”

Maris sighed as they silently walked along the beach.

“I wish I could say it was as easy as that, but it isn’t. Human Supremacy, the idea that the human race is better than others, has always been apparent in the Core, but things have gotten progressively worse in the last decades. Palpatine and the Empire don’t openly discriminate against aliens, but it’s pretty much a Humans first club.”

“Which is not surprising seeing that Humans are the predominant race in this sector,” Thrawn said evenly like it would not affect him the least.

“You of all people shouldn’t defend them.” Maris said with undisguised anger. „It is wrong to discriminate against someone because of his race. It‘s the person, the character of a being that counts, not someone’s race. If you and a Human were to apply for a job and both of you would have the same qualifications, chances are the Human would get it.”

“I am no stranger to this kind of thinking, Maris. I had to face lots of criticism for taking you to the asteroid base. In my world too aliens are not to be trusted and considered inferior. I dare say, most of my people could not even begin to imagine what the Human Empire has created here. Nor would they like it.”

“Do you?”

“I am impressed.”

It wasn’t what she had hoped for, but…

“It’s a start.” She said and smiled reassuringly, holding out a hand for him.

“Come on. No walk along the beach, without getting your feet wet.”

*******

Back in the flat, Maris came out of the kitchen with two bowls filled with several large scoops of double chocolate ice cream. She had been craving something sweet all day and had figured withholding Thrawn this special Human treat would be downright mean.

“Want some?” She asked. „It’s called ice cream and I love it.”

He had finally stopped questioning each and every piece of food and just accepted the bowl with “Thank you.” Before studying its content.

In the background, Maris’ favorite HoloShow was playing. A humorous sitcom in which several friends shared a small flat and went through the ups and downs of life.

_“Why are you grinning like you’re on spice? We are talking about serious stuff here.” One of the actors, who all sat around a large table, said._

_“I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’m engaged.” The blonde Human answered._

_“Really?!”_

_Everybody jumped up and hugged the blonde female called Jennifer._

_“I’m so happy for you!”_

_“Thank you.”_

“What does `engaged´ mean?” Thrawn asked to her surprise, as Maris had thought he had paid no attention to the show. As far as she knew, he had been studying Imperial currency, trying to figure out its value in comparison to Chiss credits, which wasn’t as easy as apparently Human and Chiss valued things like food or houses very differently.

“It means she is about to get married,” Maris said and sat down on the couch next to him. Looking at the data in front of the Chiss. _Did he actually understand that?_ Math seemed to be easier for him than language but still…

The Chiss shook his head. “I don’t know that word either.”

“It’s usually between a man and a woman. Then they live together and sometimes start a family.”

“A bonding contract?”

Maris made a face. “That sounds a bit too formal. It’s more like a promise of that. During the marriage ceremony, there is an official paper that is signed. Engagement is a promise of marriage.”

“I understand.” There was a brief pause. “I am engaged. But I fail to see why the prospect of marriage makes her so happy.”

Maris almost choked on her ice cream.

_He was WHAT? Why had that never come up? And why was she upset about it? He was engaged!_

“Does that mean you are not happy being engaged?”

“No.”

“But…Don’t you love her?”

“Ah, I see.” He smiled over the rim of the ice cream bowl. “This is really good. No. In my world, we don't marry for love, and often we don't even meet our spouses until the wedding day. Marriage is… duty - to the collective and the family. To an extent, our genetic makeup is public property as marriage partners are chosen for us based on social standing, merit and genetic compatibility. At least within the Ruling Families. We marry to have children and like this, we hope to ensure the best possible outcome. Actually, it was part of my contract as a merit adopted.”

Maris was speechless.

“But…. marriage is hard. If there is no love to start with, how can it last?”

He raised an eyebrow.

„Actually, the opposite is true. As I have said, love marriages do exist, but almost exclusively among commoners, and studies have shown that those marriages, on average, are more likely to fail than arranged marriages.”

“And you believe that?”

“I have no reason not to. A marriage based on love starts from a very high point, from which there is no way but down and passion fades. Why place value on something that doesn't last?“

„But love is not just passion. Real love goes deeper than that. It's a genuine friendship, it’s… I don’t know… when you just want to be with a person and when you trust and respect that person and often those people also share the same values and have common interests. It’s the whole packet, not just passion. You just click.”

“And you truly believe that someone like that exists?”

“Yes. You don’t?”

“I prefer to have more reasonable expectations for a partner.”

Maris had no idea how such a relationship could even look like.

“I could not do that." She said finally. "Marry without love. For Humans love is the most essential and most dangerous emotion. It’s a drive, an urge, a hunger. It motivates our actions, affiliates happiness and pleasure, but also hate. We die for it and kill for it, commit crimes for it. But it’s also the only thing that can drive hate from our hearts. Whatever the dictionary might tell you, it’s not enough. Physical love is only one of many forms love can have. But love is what makes us Human. You will not understand Humanity if you do not understand love.”

**TBC**


	7. Chapter 7

Maris had no idea what he did when she was out at work. Yes, she trusted him, yet all her instincts told her she shouldn’t. Perhaps she had been disappointed once too often. Suddenly she remembered Rak.

_“I know his type, and he’s not what he seems. They never are.”_

Rak had been an ass at times, but he had always been honest and he had had a sense for people. Thrawn was so smooth, so well-mannered and yes, so handsome, it was easy to forget about the danger. He was here on a mission, he was a naval officer and the only thing he studied was language and art? Maris felt like she had swallowed a stone. Why couldn’t she just be happy? Well, she was, but…there was something he wasn’t telling her.

“You are late.”

“Did you miss me?”

“I am grateful you returned unharmed.”

With everyone else, this answer would have offended her. Maris put the shopping bag on the counter.

“You will be even more grateful when you see the reason why I am late.” She reached into the brown bag and handed him two tickets for the Corellian Museum of Fine Arts.”

“That is very thoughtful of you. Thank you.”

Yes, thoughtful, not _scheming_. Maris calmed herself. She had done nothing wrong. She had simply brought them two tickets. Still, …she could not deny that the impulse to buy them had been heavily influenced by the fact that next to the Museum of Fine Arts was the Imperial War Museum.

“Yes, you seem to be very interested in Human art.”

“I once considered a career as an art historian.”

 _And decided against it._ Maris finished in her mind.

“Anyway, a visit to the museum might help me to understand some things.”

_And me._

“You see…. I have thought about what you said earlier.”

“Huh?” Maris said then, lifting an eyebrow.

“That to understand Humans, I have to understand love and I have come to the conclusion that you might be right. It’s everywhere in your art and music. However, I’m not sure if I _can_ understand it.”

“Sure you can. Everyone loves.”

Maris had never met anyone that did not love - one way or another.

She held out a bowl of potatoes to him.

“Ready to cook?”

“Cook?”

“Yes. Can you peel them?”

He took the bowl.

“I am not completely useless.” He said then, gripped a knife from the counter and to her astonishment knew how to use it. He had this bizarre, aristocratic attitude surrounding him, which made it hard imagining him perform such everyday tasks.

“I am somewhat surprised.”

“My blood-parents were commoners. We weren't rich, but weren't poor either.” He explained shortly. “On special occasions, we had real food. And I liked helping my mother in the kitchen.”

Maris smiled.

“So you loved her.”

“I was too young to know what I felt. I was ten when they took me when I was adopted. I have fond memories of my mother and my childhood, but I hesitate calling it `love´.”

His language skills had improved considerably, Maris noted. Words like “found” or “hesitate” belonged to a totally different category than the basic words he had used before. _Were all Chiss like him? Or was it just him? Was this the reason the ruling class had adopted him? Made him sign an engagement contract with one of their daughters?_

“And Thrass? I have seen you with your brother. You love him.”

“Thrass… My father died when I was still an infant and I guess Thrass looked after me for a long time. Not that it did him any good. I’m not sure if I `loved´ him, but I cared greatly for him.”

“Past tense?”

“He died on the Outbound Flight.” Maris felt her hand covering her mouth.

“Oh my…I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that.”

“It happened years ago.” Thrawn shook his head. 

“But it hurt?”

“It was painful, yes.”

“Then it was love. A form of love. Brotherly love.”

“Perhaps.”

Suddenly he came over and got out a smaller knife from the knife block.

“Actually, you are the useless one. That…”

“Onion” Maris explained.

“That onion. You cut it wrongly.” He handed her the knife and moved behind her.

“Try again.”

Maris reached for another one and then held her breath when she felt him against her back. He reached around either side of her and then placed his hands on top of hers and over the knife.

“You have to do it…” He cut through it in a small half-round movement. “Like this.”

“Ok.”

“Now you.”

To Maris's surprise, he stayed behind her, which did not help to concentrate on the task at hand, but somehow she managed.

“Better.”

After the third onion, he moved away.

Maris carried on cooking without consciously knowing what she was doing.

 _D_ _id_ _he_ _know she was attracted to him_ _?_ _Had he perhaps been_ _…flirting with her?_ _No. This was just silly._ _Or_ _had he been testing her_ _?_ _How far she_ _mistrusted_ _him? With a knife?_

She put all the ingredients in a gratin dish, poured a creamy sauce over it and then pushed the dish into the oven.

Twelve minutes later the dish was ready and they sat down. There was a brief uncomfortable silence.

“Wine?”

“Perhaps a little.”

“Really?”

“Someone told me once if on Corellia, do as the Corellians do.”

Maris filled two glasses and sat down opposite him.

“This is my favorite. An exquisite white from Alderaan. I usually don’t share it.”

“Then why start now?”

 _Yes, why? Because I have a_ _strikingly_ _virile, handsome, strong, tall man in my flat?_ The previous physical closeness was still in her system. _It was almost like she was 21 again, on the Springhawk. Damn._

“Always the best for guests and friends.”

“To friendship then.” 

“Actually, coming back to our topic, friendship can be considered a form of love too.”

They started eating.

“So you love me?” Maris looked up to see if he was teasing her, but it was no use. If anyone had what was commonly known as a sabacc-face, it was him. "You said you consider me a friend."

“What? Well, Yeah…I guess so” It sounded pretty weak even to herself. “but… in a weaker form. I mean we don’t know each other that well… “ She took a sip of wine just to have time to think. “Perhaps love goes a bit too far here. And there is definitely no sex and attraction part involved. “

Maris felt herself blushing.

_Great. Well done, girl._

“Definitely.” He confirmed and then leisurely took another bite before asking: “Does that mean there are friendships that do involve… sex?”

Maris nearly choked.

“No. Yes. I mean - it’s complicated.” Maris took a deep breath. “There is a thing called `Friends with benefits´. That means friendship plus sex, but it’s just for the pleasure and not for deeper love between a man and a woman, you understand?”

“I guess I got the broader meaning.” Maris looked at the Chiss but still couldn’t read him. Slowly she kept on eating, but her mind was somewhere else entirely, while the Chiss took another sip of wine.

“And is that a common thing?”

“No. Most humans can’t have sex without feeling. Especially women. Sometimes friendship turns into romantic love, that is not uncommon, but sex just for the fun of it…. No, we usually don’t do that.” Maris shook her head. “Perhaps it’s because of our evolution. We, I mean Human females, don’t look for pleasure first. As we are the ones who will carry the children, so we look for a protector and provider.” Maris was sure she looked as disappointed with her explanation as she felt. “This sounds terribly scientific and it’s not really true. Not for all of us. And of cause, we like pleasure. Gosh, this is weird. Humans usually don’t talk about sex.”

Finally, she took a rather large gulp of wine. _She shouldn’t have brought the topic back up. Stupid._

“Neither do Chiss. It’s a taboo. Actually this the first time I talk about it outside a biology lecture.”

Maris laughed “I remember such lectures too.” Then she looked at him for a bit too long.

“Can I ask a question in return?”

“I guess that’s only fair.”

“You said Human and Chiss biology were surprisingly similar. How do you know that?”

“I had you scanned while you were on the Springhawk.”

“Nice of you to ask first.”

He let the obvious provocation pass.

“Well, are we similar _everywhere_?”

He smiled.

“There are minor differences as you can see. But otherwise - yes.”

“Really? That’s…..fascinating.”

“And not coincidental.”

“No, probably not. Humans have always ventured into space. We are always curious about what lies behind the next star. To go where no man has gone before.” She smiled. “I wouldn’t be surprised if we have common ancestors.” Maris was glad to finally have left the whole love topic behind.

“That would be the most logical explanation, though none that is socially acceptable on Csilla.”

“Is xenophobia really that bad there?”

“Worse than here. And I admit I’m not free of it either. There are certain characteristics you attribute to a certain species.”

“Like?”

“Like the Vagaari are evil slavers and Humans are fascinating.”

“Your limited vocabulary shows you’re lying.” Maris smiled.

“Really?”

“Yes. You have doubts about us.”

Perhaps she shouldn’t have said it out loud. Perhaps she shouldn’t have drunken a second glass of wine.

“Compared to most aliens, Humans are rational, but at the core you are emotional and often self-serving and you rule over an Empire that dwarfs the Ascendancy. An Empire that grows. Humans are much more violent than Chiss, we wouldn’t stand a chance against your Star Destroyers.”

 _Bam. Here it was. So he had studied the military. She had known it!_ He had never said he wouldn’t, but he had known she wouldn’t like it, so he had done it behind her back. That was Thrawn too. And the worst thing was that she knew it. But there was another thing she knew. That he liked her. He had ordered to fire the shocknets, hadn’t he? An order that made no sense except for pleasing her. Out of an instinct, Maris placed her hand on his forearm.

“Don’t write that in your notebook. We are not all like that.”

“I know and that is what troubles me. Humans are skillful diplomats, but only if you choose to be and you like order, but only to an extent. You are self-serving and yet sometimes you are surprisingly selfless. You are violent and yet you love. You confuse me.”

**TBC**


	8. Chapter 8

The speeder-cab was old and cramped, with black, cheap plastic seats and it smelled like stale death sticks. Never to mention that it flew far too slowly, no wonder as it was paid by the minute. Still, it had been their best option as the parking fees in the center of Coronet were downright mental. But all of that didn’t change the fact that Maris felt as though she were trapped in a small room with a fan heater going at full blast and the closeness of the Chiss next to her surely did nothing to improve the situation.

_What was he doing anyway?_

Finally, Maris had the courage to lean over. He was practicing writing, carefully `painting´ the unfamiliar letters and words.

“Are you planning on a career in forgery or do you have a feminine side I’m not aware of?” She asked and laughed quietly.

„I don’t understand.“ The Chiss said in his usual cool tone.

„Because – that’s _my_ handwriting.“

„Is this _not_ how you write?”

“Of course it is, but…each person has his or her own style. It differs in its roundness, spacing, size, thickness, and many more things.”

She reached out for the datapad and the lightpen and then wrote the word `Hello´ in three different styles.

“See? Like this. It’s the same, but different.”

“And the style I choose is important?”

Oh yes, it was. Maris couldn’t suppress a smile, while secretly imagining some of the less fortunate interpretations of _his_ handwriting.

“Yes because it tells you something about the person. It’s…” _How could she best explain it?_ “...well, it’s in a way similar to what you do with artwork. Humans tend to deduce things from it about a writer’s personality.”

The Chiss seemed to ponder about that for a moment.

“If that is common knowledge, why not change your handwriting to make a better impression?”

Maris smiled.

“Good plan, only that it is not that easy for us. Our handwriting … develops. Even identical twins have different handwritings. Some of us are better `forgers´ than others, but, in the end, every handwriting is unique.”

She returned the datapad.

“Fascinating.” He briefly looked out of the window and then shut down the datapad. “Could you perhaps give me some insight into Human handwriting?”

Maris sighed. “I’m hardly an expert, but I can easily spot a woman’s handwriting. And yours is pretty feminine at the moment. It’s loopy and round and…I don’t know `cleaner´ than a normal male handwriting….I guess it’s hard to explain as much of it is based on experience and hearsay.”

“All of which I lack. Please, enlighten me, what exactly do people say?”

Maris was silent for a moment, thinking, and then said.

“People say that a large handwriting shows self-esteem, while small letters often belong to insecure persons and that overly large letters indicate a lack of self-control, whereas large capital letters in an otherwise small handwriting disclose pride.” She was quiet for a while, trying hard to remember everything she had ever heard about the topic. “People with round letters like conformism and are quiet, while people with an angular handwriting are known to break rules. And people who have a clumsy, disorderly, irregular and in a way `dirty´ handwriting are the same in life… But, to be honest, there are whole books about handwriting. It’s a large topic. And none of this is true science.”

“Yet it is important enough you think I should know about it before developing my own style.”

Before Maris had a chance to react, their speeder came to a sudden halt. And the transparent screen in front of them asked for 25,95 credits. They had arrived.

***

The Imperial War Museum was the proud center-piece of Coronet’s museums island, a huge, shiny complex consisting of a total of three skyscrapers in different heights. The smallest one was the main entrance and there was already a long queue outside, waiting in the boiling heat, mostly children with their parents. On each side of the entrance were large Imperial flags and two rows of old-fashioned canons. And inside, the Chiss could already spot two stormtroopers performing a security check on each and every visitor.

“I was unaware the military had its own museum.” He stated truthfully as they walked over the large open space.

“Oh yes. Palpatine is very proud of it. It features all kinds of weapons and technologies through the ages.” Maris said and smiled. “It’s ordered chronologically. Starting with the first colonial ships, then the first hyperdrive, stuff from the Corsair Wars, the Sith Wars, the Mandalorian Wars and, of course, the Clone Wars. I think they even have a virtual tour of a Star Destroyer and a pretty neat merchandising section with a themed restaurant.”

Thrawn studied the advertising poster at the end of the queue.

“A strange strategy to openly display your technology.”

“ _Pretty old_ technology. It’s not like they’re displaying the construction plans of Kuat’s next super-weapon.”

“Of course. Still, it shows a certain level of arrogance.”

“Or a certain level of paranoia from the people who come to such a conclusion.”

He smiled at her.

“Perhaps.”

Both of them, of course, thought about Maris’s time with the Chiss. Admiral Ar’alani had been very concerned about her presence onboard the space station.

Maris shook her head. They could have shown her their newest hyperdrive plans and she wouldn’t have understood a word. Actually, the word `paranoia´ didn’t even come close.

Thrawn looked down at the tickets in Maris’s hand. He loved art galleries, always had. The exhibits, so different from species to species, the coolness of the rooms, the quietness surrounding them. He loved spending hours contemplating the objects, but he would be lying if this wasn’t tempting.

Some of the kids, who had already left the museum, played with toy blasters, and wore plastic stormtrooper masks. They were obviously in an over-emotional state and they were…loud. Apparently, the Imperial War Museum was a different kind of museum. A very human museum, which seemed to mix education with fun, food and shopping. An interesting concept in itself as it gripped the children’s’ imagination and influenced them on an emotional level to join the military. Such a concept would never work in the Ascendancy, but with Humans it probably did. He might not like it, personally, but it was something completely new to him and it would be interesting to see how Humans reacted to this…interactive, all including concept. AND he was interested in the topic. No, more than that, he `craved´ to go inside. He was a soldier before he was an art enthusiast. And in a way, he had even managed to militarise even that. And how could it have been any other way? It was all he had ever been trained to do. It was his life and the lack of a uniform did not change that. Plus, it was why he had come here. _Right?_ He glanced over at Maris and calculated the odds of her planning this. Of her testing him. _Humans never ceased to amaze..._

With that he turned around again and pointed to the art gallery.

“We should go.”

“Are you sure? We could still change our minds if you prefer to go here.”

“Chiss don’t like a change of plan in the last second.” He declared and then marched towards the white building on their right, while Maris stared at his back, surprised by his reaction.

 _Well, the Chiss might not be the most flexible species, but Thrawn, surely, was not the average Chiss…_

***

They sat outside in front of a modern restaurant, close to an artificial river. It was already dark outside, or as dark as it could ever get in Coronet.

“…. a reproduction can never substitute for an original. A good copy will convey certain elements of the work, but, in the end, it leaves out more than it gives…material, structure, size, shape, surface....”

Maris poked in her salad.

“Do I bore you?” he asked after another interval of silence.

_Bore her? How could he ever bore her?_

“No, not at all. I’m happy you enjoyed it so much, actually, I was surprised you chose the Art Gallery in the first place.”

He smiled. “Me too.” He took a sip a white wine and then added. “But you didn’t want me to go.”

“No. I…I gave you a choice.”

“Then I hope I made the right one.”

Of course, he had. But it didn’t feel like a victory at all. He had done it because he knew _she_ had wanted it, and not because _he_ had really wanted it.

“Don’t be sad. It was a really nice day and I thank you for it. You showed great patience with me.”

Yes, she had. _How could anyone look at a picture for longer than two minutes?_

“Am I really so easy to read?”

He just smiled, but Maris already knew the answer to that. She wore her heart on her sleeve, always had.

“Yeah, I guess I am.” There was a short, but heavy silence between them. “I guess I just wish you wouldn’t like it so much.”

“What?”

“Battleships, weapons. These things. In the end, it comes down to killing people.” Maris said nodding towards the Imperial War Museum.

“I don’t like killing people.”

“But you get by.” Maris retorted quickly.

“Yes, I do.”

_Well, what had she expected? He had to get by._

“Is it easy?” She asked then, quietly.

“No, but it gets easier each time. And it is certainly easier from a distance.”

Yes, she had seen that. She had seen him.

_“Those people are already dead. / Please understand the reality of the situation. / Fire full missile bursts on my command.”_

The memory came without a warning. He had been so focused on the battle, so emotionless. All those people serving as living shields. She could never have fired at them. And the Outbound Flight? 5.000 innocent colonists. _Easy from a distance?_

He was so normal, so nice and intelligent and yet…

“Sometimes you scare me.”

“Maris….I would never hurt you.”

“You say this now, but what about tomorrow? When killing as become as easy as breathing?”

“Do you think Human soldiers are different?” He asked then and Maris wasn’t sure whether he just wanted to collect information or intended to make a point.

“I don’t know. But I doubt they would have said what you just did.”

The Chiss seemed to think for a moment.

“Perhaps because they are better at anticipating your reaction. Chances are they would have lied. You are very…I lack the vocabulary to tell you without hurting you. I really like you Maris.”

The conversation seemed to go into a direction she didn’t like and she had to change the tone now before this dinner would ruin the whole day.

“Naïve. That’s what most people say. As simple as that. I’m naïve.” She laughed. “And you are a soldier and you like it.”

“I do. For the most part, that is.”

“For the most part?” He rarely admitted to any form of discontentment.

Thrawn sighed. “Your way of life is very attractive. You are very…free.”

Freedom was not the first word on Maris’s mind when she thought about the Empire, but from what she had heard so far, she could only guess how strict Chiss life truly was.

“Because of your fiancé?”

“Time for your `love thing´ again?” He laughed quietly. “No. Actually sometimes I forget she even exists. But you are free in so many things. I was taken when I was ten and from that point on, I was property of the Mitth family. They tell you it’s a big honor and when you are young, you don’t question things. I never had a choice. I wish to serve my people and I swore to protect them, but…” He sighed. “…I struggle with the system. I will always be an outsider, who they took in to fulfill a purpose. To be a good soldier, to carry out orders, and to marry and produce two children. Perhaps, if I’m lucky and don’t die before that, I will make it to `ranking distant´, but even then I will never be part of the real aristocracy and my voice will never carry enough weight to really change things.”

“And that is what you want?”

He nodded. Then, after a time, he said, “I want a fair chance. Or, as Admiral Ar’alani might say, I want more than I should.”

Maris shrugged. “Here we would call it a common problem.”

“Yes. Because you are an individualistic and self-obsessed society.”

“Thank you,” Maris said and waved one of the female-looking service droids over to pay.

“What for?”

“The compliment.”

The droid rolled over and Maris placed her credit card on top of a black and white striped field to pay.

 _`Thank you for your visit and please visit us again soon.´_ A blue holo message appeared then.

“I don’t understand.”

The two stood up and walked over the now empty museums island, back to the cab stand. The place was eerily silent and almost creepy now. But there were surveillance droids everywhere and a small stormtrooper garrison, so at least they would be safe. There had been more and more muggings recently.

“It’s called sarcasm. You say the opposite of what you mean.”

“That will not be helpful while learning Basic.”

“Humans do it all the time when they are annoyed.”

“And were you annoyed?”

“Yes. Because I’m part of that society!” But she did not sound annoyed.

“So, will you go to the Imperial War Museum?” Maris asked then, while they passed another, closed IWM merchandising store.

“Yes. Without you. And during the week, when it’s less crowded.”

“Good plan. But you might not understand everything without me.”

“I have a good memory. I can always look things up later.”

_He was kind of arrogant at times._

“Yeah, but it might be more fun with me.”

She hugged a life-sized statue of the Emperor and made a face.

“Without a doubt.”

Then they passed a darker alleyway and noticed a couple kissing in the dark.

“Is that normal?” Thrawn asked after they were out of hearing-reach. Finally, Maris spotted the cab stop.

“Don’t tell me you guys don’t to it.”

“Some do. But not in public.”

“It’s not `common´, but it’s also not `uncommon´. Those guys were probably drunk or young or both. Let them have some fun.”

“Do you like kissing?”

Maris just stopped.

“Don’t tell me you have never done it!”

_This could not be. It would be…. such a waste! And he was engaged. He talked about having two children in the future!_

“I have.” He reassured her when he noticed her obvious distress. “But I had expected it to be better.”

“The way you talk about your fiancé I am not surprised.” Maris joked and then waved over a cab, which simply passed them by.

“It wasn’t my fiancé.”

“Did you love her?”

“No.”

“Then there’s your answer.”

“That’s hardly an answer and the question was whether _you_ liked it.”

Maris laughed, then walked over to one of the cabs that hadn’t moved. Apparently, the driver had fallen asleep. She knocked on the view panel and with a jerk the Rodian woke up, spilling his pink drink all over his lap. Then the doors opened and they got in.

“What?” the Chiss asked as he noticed her staring at him. Smiling strangely.

“You probably knew her for an hour.”

“Two hours.”

At least this time the taxi wasn’t as filthy.

**TBC**


	9. Chapter 9

The second time they drove to the ocean, the journey didn’t take as long as it had the first time and after just two hours, they had reached their destination: Massarie Island, just outside Bela Vista.

Maris could smell the ocean as soon as they’d exited the main Hyperlane. She had always loved the beach. As a child, she had spent some wonderful summer holidays here with her family. Back then, she had always said that once she was grown up, she would live here, but, of course, as a child, she had had no idea of what living on Massarie Island actually cost. But in a way, this was better than her childhood dream because here she was: Maris Ferasi in a blue speeder with an open roof and next to her sat the most mysterious, handsome man she could think of. The only flaw in this picture-perfect was that it should be him driving. Not her. But it was her own fault. She shouldn’t have scared him off flying on their first day together. Time and again, she had offered him to try, but he had only said that he had no intention do die in this chaos humans called traffic. The direct hyperlane going to the coast was closed, so they had to take a longer route, but Maris didn’t mind because like this she could really take in the beautiful landscape. There were ships and shops, sheep and tourists, and small markets everywhere. Then they took a turn left, into a far smaller hyperlane, which went right through green meadows and wildflowers in all kinds of colours. And then, after a couple of minutes, they reached a white house on top of a grey cliff above the ocean. It was a breathtaking sight.

“The Mermaid?” The Chiss asked when he read the sign. “What is that?”

“It might sound weird, but rich people like to name their holiday homes. It’s kind of a tradition here.”

“And what is a Mermaid?”

He helped her carry some bags from the speeder while Maris opened the front door with a silver keycard.

 _“Hello and welcome to the Mermaid. How can I be of service?”_ A mechanical voice asked.

“Open all windows,” Maris said and with that, the shutters opened and a fresh breeze from the ocean filled the house and blew the white curtains into the living room. Everything there was light and airy and spacious. But also cozy.

Thrawn followed Maris into the second room and then put down his bags on the light oak table.

“Mermaids are a fairytale,” Maris explained while she started unpacking all the deco she had brought along. Flowers, pots, fruits and many other things. “Before humans were a spacefaring species, we traveled the oceans, but those travels didn’t always end well, so they blamed the mermaids for it. Aquatic creatures with the head and upper body of a beautiful human female and the tail of a fish. The mermaids sing to the sailors to lure them into their death, pulling them down into the depth of the ocean.” She made a pulling gesture and put on an alarming face. “But women, in general, were considered bad luck on board of a ship back then.” Maris filled a vase with water and then draped the flowers on the kitchen table. “Nowadays, however, fairytales of mermaids are far less gruesome and talk about beautiful creatures that save sailors from drowning or take them onto dry land, before bestowing special healing kisses upon them.“

“Interesting,” Thrawn said and took off his sunglasses. “But I guess every culture has these kinds of stories, with which they tried to explain the unexplainable.”

In the next room, Maris placed a bottle of white wine in an ice bucket on the table and placed a fruit-bowl next to it. She felt herself blushing. This was perhaps making a wrong impression. _No, this was her job!_ She was here to sell this house and for that purpose, the marketing had to be perfect!

“Did you do all of this?” The Chiss asked and then opened a transparent slide door, which led to a terrace that surrounded half of the house. Outside he saw the ocean glittering while some boats sailed into the horizon.

“It is beautiful,” he commented and then looked back inside.

“Thank you.” Maris is repeated. “Well take a look around and relax. I have to take the photos now, as long as the light is perfect.”

Maris felt that he was looking at her while she was moving through the house. Decorating and changing things; taking photos. Usually, she preferred to be alone in order to concentrate on taking the perfect photo, to get the right atmosphere. But to her surprise his presence was soothing. But then again, he was a very quiet audience.

About two hours later, and after she had taken hundreds of photos of the house and its surroundings, she joined the Chiss back on the terrace.

“Done.”

He looked up from the novel he had taken from the living room.

“Already?”

Maris smiled.

“It was a beautiful day and I felt inspired.”

“And what now?”

“We could join the crowd. I used to come here with my family when I was little. I know some nice places.”

He nodded. “That sounds agreeable.”

Back in the kitchen, Maris packed some essentials and then walked too quickly over the wooden floorboards towards the door, as her foot caught on one of the slats and with that she flew – right into his arms.

“Frack. I’m so sorry.”

“Is your waist really that small?"

 _What?_ The question was so absurd that Maris answered it the only way she could, with a puff of laughter. And when she looked at him, he blushed slightly. He was embarrassed. And so was she. Maris stopped laughing.

_Frack._

He was still looking at his hands that he had actually managed to close around her waist.

Maris unconsciously bit her lip. Yes, she was small, small for a human female and considerably smaller than a Chiss female? If Ar’alani was anything to go by the answer would be yes.

She felt the heat radiating from his hands around her waist. He had nice hands. Her eyes met his. Damn it. She didn't know why she got scared every time she thought a man was going to kiss her. Or maybe this was what arousal felt like and she'd already forgotten. Not that it mattered…he would never kiss her. She was just making a fool of herself - again. Just like she had done back then. She had to stop this. Quickly she placed a hand against his chest, just in case, and then took a step backward. His hands loosened their grip and she was free again.

“I’m small, but not unusually so.” She said and then picked up the bag that had fallen to the ground. Luckily nothing was broken. “Are Chiss women different?”

She felt his eyes on her almost as if his gaze was burning right through her. Reaching deep. She tried to resist, but her stomach kept doing those weird rolls as though she was riding a roller coaster.

“Chiss women are physically weaker than men, but still on average taller and stronger than human females. You seem fragile in comparison.”

“ _Fragile_?” Maris provocatively put a hand on her hip.

He smiled.

“I know you can stand your ground, but you are quite small.”

“Well, you know what they say: small, but feisty. Let’s go.”

**TBC**


	10. Chapter 10

The view was spectacular. An old amphitheater carved out of sandstone, in front of the turquoise ocean, which, at night, was nothing but a gentle surf. There was a large orchestra in the background with men in tailored, black tuxedos and women in heavy, red evening dresses. The conductor was an old man with fuzzy, long, grey hair and striking black, horn-rimmed glasses, which were not uncommon in his trade. Most of them were Human, but not everyone. Behind them was a large plasma screen, on which scenes from various holodramas could be seen and that matched the music. Whereas the theatre itself was surrounded by burning torches and there was a thick, red carpet leading inside.

"I've never seen anything like it." The Chiss whispered as he internalized every little detail.

When the music became more classical, professional dancers came on the stage and performed a complex choreography to match the music.

“If you like this, you should go and see the opera on Coruscant. I’ve heard it’s breath-taking and apparently Palpatine himself is a regular guest.”

Thrawn and Maris sat away from the action, high on top of a nearby cliff, from which one could easily see the amphitheater and watch the show. Maris used her camera to zoom in on the screen and then passed it over to Thrawn.

"Try this here." He gratefully accepted the device and continued to study the performance below.

“We always did that back then. So this is a real insider tip. We never had the money for the tickets, but the music is loud enough to hear it up here. My Dad found out about it more or less by accident when his speeder broke down nearby. And another cool thing about this place is ... ” She laughed and reached into her backpack. "…you can totally enjoy yourself." With a loud `plog´, she uncorked the wine, which had previously served as a decorative prop, and then got out an apple and a sandwich for each of them.

“Not comparable to whatever they eat down there, but these sandwiches are really good. Cheese or tuna?"

"Whatever is left." Maris grinned broadly and then grabbed the cheese sandwich.

"These projections – are they part of the song?"

"In a way. It is the theme song of a popular holodrama. They cut the best scenes together so that they fit the melody best.”

"A pretty brutal drama."

"Yes, but good. Perhaps you should add it as a source of your weird field research as it is about the first days of human colonization in this galaxy.”

"The drama is historical?"

"As historical as a holodrama can be. First and foremost, it’s entertainment and the producers want to make money with it, but yes - the basis is historically verifiable."

Time and again, they passed the camera back and forth and Maris answered Thrawn's questions as best as she could.

Once the show came to its end, the music was accompanied by a pyrotechnic masterpiece that accompanied the music perfectly.

"Incredible, isn't it?"

Maris lay on her back and watched the fireworks, and for a moment she was ten again, like a little child that got lost in the sparkles of the fireworks over the sea.

“Yes. Incredible.”

The day had been long and tiring, but also beautiful. It was rare that she could leave the city for jobs like this and Maris hadn’t thought twice about bringing Thrawn along. The idea of him spending all his time pondering about the Imperial Navy and Army was – rather sobering and the artists' village of Worpswede, which was close to the property she intended to sell, seemed the perfect remedy, so they had gone there after the photoshoot. Worpswede was small and beautiful, but also well-known and therefore flooded with tourists and it consisted mostly of small white houses, which were typical for this region. Most of the houses also contained shops at their fronts which offered handmade jewelry, antique furniture and art exhibitions by artists with sometimes more and sometimes less talent. Nevertheless, Worpswede was always worth a visit. The coffees were overpriced, as were the hotels, yet the atmosphere alone had a certain effect and, like that, a day outside with a soft ice cream and a coffee to go, could turn Worpswede into the most beautiful place in the galaxy. And then, when Maris had seen the poster that today the Royal Symphony Orchestra would perform at the amphitheater, she had spontaneously decided to stay. Her boss, Patrick, had many flaws, but he wouldn’t be angry with her for this. For that, she had worked too hard and too long for him.

The house wasn’t too far away, so Maris had decided to walk back, along the dark beach. Alone she probably would have been too afraid, but like this, chances were low. After all, attempting to mug her with this giant bloke at her side, would be crazy or if not downright suicidal. She had never seen Thrawn in real hand-to-hand combat, but the hard muscles that were even now visible through his white shirt spoke volumes.

Without really thinking about what she did, Maris got the wine back out again. It was still half full. She opened the makeshift lit and then took a sip right out of the bottle before handing it to Thrawn.

“It would be a shame not to finish it.”

“No thanks.”

“Oh, come on, I’ve seen you drink. It doesn’t affect you at all.”

“Perhaps not as much as it does you, but I assure you it does affect me and I’m still uncomfortable with the concept of consciously drinking narcotics.”

Maris shrugged and took another sip in his stead. “Your loss.”

After a while, they could see the house, tiny in the distance.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Maris asked. “I loved it from the very first time I saw it. Well, at least tonight I can pretend it’s mine. I put so much effort into it only to sell it to some rich guy who doesn’t appreciate it and only uses it as a status symbol ` _Of course we have a house on the island_.´” She said in fake and over the top Coruscanti accent and then took another sip of wine.

“So it’s people from Coruscant that buy many houses here?”

“Yes, that’s where the power is after all, but Coruscant is one huge city and it’s – actually pretty ugly if you’re not the urban type. So, most people buy holiday houses here, or on Alderaan or Naboo. Corellia has the charm to have both – we have very large cities, but also a beautiful countryside.” She shook her head. “Sith, I sound like one of our brochures.”

“Perhaps you will find someone who appreciates the house for what it is and is able to finance it.”

“No.” She said quickly, while the wind messed with her hair and she hopped on one foot to get the sand out off her shoes.“Guess how much it is?”

“I don’t know. Considering the food and speeder prices, and the fact that this here is a perfect location, but also not the best. Half a million credits?”

Maris laughed. “Try five.”

“Five million credits?”

“Yes.”

“That seems unreasonably high.”

“I agree. It totally is, but the thing is that there is a market for it.” She took another sip. “Wages have developed significantly different during the last decades and it is getting worse. Even before the Clone Wars there were many rich people who bribed senators, influenced politics in their favor, and had unimaginable wealth, but, as with all wars, there were many who profited from it - politicians, the military and many privateers. Well, now, in the Empire, the numbers have changed significantly. I have heard that the richest 10% control about 68% of the total wealth! Five million is… pocket money.” 

“How much money do you get of these five million?”

“I see the man has a talent for business – not much I’m afraid. It’s Patrick’s company, I’m just an employee and there are many taxes to pay. Palpatine needs money to build more Star Destroyers.”

The waves hit the beach with a rhythmic, almost hypnotic regularity and every now and then a wave rolled up calmly and hit her shoes. They would be soaked by the time they would reach the house.

“You really don’t like him.”

“No, I don’t. If history has shown as anything it is that humans don’t give up power once they have it and power corrupts. Emperor Palpatine has many supporters, I know that, he always had - even as chancellor and senator. People loved him. He was so quiet and charming. But you would be a fool to believe in the picture of the old man who has given his whole life to the galaxy. No one gets where he is without being absolutely ruthless. Politics is an ugly business. And his right man, Vader, is a monster. More machine than man. He killed the Jedi. Hunted them down and wiped them out, for treason. Only tyrants wipe out their enemies like that.”

He remained silent. Perhaps she shouldn’t have said that. Maris looked down at the now empty bottle in her hand. She had just given him a lot of ammunition against the Empire and to an extent against humanity.

“The Empire is a military dictatorship and the senate only exists so people feel they have a say in at least something. I know that. Most people do, and they do not care. They have had enough of war and chaos. And the Old Republic was corrupt to the bone and people talked and talked and nothing happened. It had come to a stalemate and had to be changed, which was one of the reasons I made myself believe smuggling was more than a criminal act.” She laughed. “Well, I guess we treated pest with cholera.”

“What is that?” It became harder and harder to forget that he wasn’t fluent in Basic. There was still the accent, yes, but she had already gotten so used to it, that it didn’t register anymore.

“Two deathly diseases.” She explained.

“Ah…” They walked on silently for a moment. “You can still try a multi-monarchical family caste system, but I doubt you would find much pleasure in it either. In the end, no government is perfect and the only alternative is anarchy.”

“Enough of this tedious topic,” Maris said suddenly, stopped walking and took off her backpack.

“What are you doing?” The Chiss ask as he saw her taking off her shoes.

“I want to go swimming.”

“Now? It’s dark and cold and the …. “ apparently he did not know the right word. “You could die.”

“Are you afraid for me?” She asked and giggled suddenly.

“Maris, are you drunk?”

“Yes, perhaps I’m a little tipsy and right now I don’t want to talk politics and later on get a headache. I want to go swimming.”

“Maris…” He protested, but she already started undressing.

“Maris, stop.” But she just threw her shirt and shorts on the sand.

“No, Commander.” She said and laughed, looking at him in her underwear. “I bet you don’t hear that often.” She giggled again and then ran into the sea and spread out her arms as she reached deep water.

„It’s wonderful!“ She yelled and then turned around to look back at him. She raised one hand over her head and waved him over.

„Come on in. It’s not cold at all.”

„Maris, please come back.” He yelled against the waves and the surf. “This isn’t funny.” It was hard to see at night.

„Chicken!“ She yelled back, but then actually returned to the shore, but did not leave the water.

“Why don’t you come on in? Can’t you swim?!”

“I can swim… but it’s not a good experience where I come from.”

“It will be here. I promise.”

He didn’t move.

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes.”

“Then take off your clothes and come on in.”

After thinking about it, for what felt like an eternity, he did indeed take off his clothes. First his shoes, then the shirt and finally his trousers. He'd left his boxers on and she watched them grow wetter as he carefully waded into the water, struggling to get to her. 

„There is something in here.” He said and looked rather suspiciously at the dark water.

“It’s called seaweed. It’s a plant. Just kick it away. It will be gone as soon as you go in deeper.”

Maris laughed as she saw the look on this face as he was finally submerged to his chest.

“What else is in this water?”

„Stingrays, jellyfish, and men-eating sharks.“ She said and then laughed again. “It’s totally safe here. Come on.” She circled him for a moment; he began to tread water again.

„There you go.“ Then she flopped over on her back and swam away from him.

"Come on.” And he did.

“Do you see that?” She asked after a while and pointed to a tiny white plastic ball in the water with a little red lamp on top. “It’s called a buoy. You can swim till there, but no further, after that it gets dangerous. We have those everywhere.”

He nodded and tread the water.

“Good to know.”

“What is it?” Maris asked watching him, watching her.

“Nothing. Just that I have never done anything this irrational in my life.”

„And? How does it feel?“ She came closer now.

“Surprisingly good.”

„I told you so. And do you know why? Because this is freedom.” Maris smiled and happily turned around in the water. “You are weightless and free and alive. There is nothing and no one here. Just you and me, the stars and…. the sound of water.” She lifted her arm and let some drops fall into the sea.

Suddenly a wave hit them and pushed them both under water. Maris giggled uncontrollably when they came back up.

“And the waves.” She added and laughed again before wiping with her right hand over her eyes. “Perfect.” She lifted her hand and showed the black content to Thrawn. “I hope you like pandas.” She giggled again. “Because that’s what you have now. A wet panda. But I’ve heard in the Outer Rim it’s quite the style these days.”

Then she looked back to the shore, to make certain their clothes were still there.

"Maris," he said way too seriously and it made her pause and look at him. He was about to say something important to her. She could feel it. Then another wave hit them, but this time he was right there with her, his fingers biting into her upper arms so she couldn't go under again. His grip was almost brutal and it surprised and excited her at the same time. She was in his arms now and even here, in the water, their difference in height was palpable, as she looked up at him, dark water surrounding her, cradling her in his embrace.

"Sometimes….when I look at you…. I feel like one of those sailors who are being tempted by a mermaid," he said in a low voice barely louder than the sounds of the sea. "You belong to a different world than I do, one that's so tempting and so beautiful...“ He broke off, perhaps because he had gone too far, or perhaps because he felt Maris face coming closer to his. “But which mermaid are you?” Their faces were only inches apart now. “The one to cause my downfall… or the one to save me?”

***

„As of now, he resides on Corellia.“

_Corellia. A strange name. Foreign. Perhaps somewhere close to the Chaos? But it wasn’t unfamiliar. She had heard it before. But where?_

“And would the gracious council be so kind as to tell me where that is?”

Standing in front of the half-round table of the Council of Families was intimidating, no doubt, but Admiral Ar’alani had been here often enough to withstand the desired effect. The cold white walls stood in stark contrast to the colorful robes of the council members, whose firry eyes were set on her.

“It is right in the heart of the Galactic Empire. Far and beyond the Chaos.”

Her heart almost stopped and it took the Chiss Admiral all her strength not to take a step backward, however, her discomfort had not gone unnoticed.

“Do you not agree with our choice, Admiral?” A representative of House Sabosen asked, smiling knowingly while looking at another representative of House Mitth.

“He was the logical choice.” The second man declared and then turned to Ar’alani. “Wouldn’t you agree Admiral?”

Ar’alani’s mind was on fever. She had to be very careful here. The houses, officially striving together for the betterment of the Chiss, were unofficially deeply divided by greed and suspicion.

“It was not disagreement you saw, your excellency, but mere surprise. I had no idea it was him you chose for this honorable task.”

An older, larger Chiss then stood up and approached her.

“You himself were his mentor for many years weren’t you, Admiral Ar’lani?” The Chiss woman focused blankly at the wall behind the table, ignoring the man as best as she could.

“That he was.”

“And how would you describe the Commander?”

“Commander Mitth'raw'nuruodo is an intelligent and resourceful man. He will be able to carry out any order you give him.”

Her answer seemed to satisfy the Chiss.

“Good.”

He returned to the table.

“You may leave now.”

“Thank you, your excellencies.”

Ar’alani bowed deeply and once the large doubled doors were closed behind her, she walked to the nearest column and steadied herself against it.

_What had they done?!_

**TBC**


	11. Chapter 11

She had always had problems falling asleep against a man’s chest or even dozing off while touching another body, but sleeping against Thrawn’s large body felt just - right.

“Good morning.” She murmured when she noticed him waking up.

“Good morning,” he answered in a drowsy, yet sexy voice. “How are you?”

“Fine.”

Maris smiled, watched his profile for a second longer and then snuggled closer to him again, putting her head on his chest, before thoughtfully running her fingers over his chest and the strange symbols, which were tattooed on his right upper arm.

“What does it say?” She asked finally.

“Property of the Expansionary Defense Fleet”. He said and smiled tiredly.

That was not what it said. Maris new the language well enough to know that some of the symbols were numbers. _Perhaps an identification code?_ But, in the end, it meant the same. And suddenly a deep and powerful emotion formed in her chest… He would leave her. This was all she would ever get, all he could offer her. Neither of them could change who they were. She would never be the noble Chiss woman Thrawn needed to secure his position within the family and to aid his career and he was too honorable to leave it all behind as he had sworn an oath of loyalty to the Chiss and the military. Nor would he break the one he would give his future wife on their wedding day. He was just not that kind of man. In another world, some kind of parallel universe, where all of this was just about them, they might become lovers, marry, have children and be happy ever after – if such a thing even existed. But in this world, they could not.

„I’m sorry, “ he said, probably guessing her thoughts.

„Don’t be.“ Maris came up, smiled, and then looked down on him. “I’m not.” She explained. “I always knew that - you and I – that all of this - would only last for a moment, but that moment is now, Thrawn. Let us enjoy it for as long as it lasts.”

With that, she pulled the bedspread over them and started exploring his body. He groaned.

“What are you doing?”

“Don’t you know, Commander? Imperial law clearly states that every previously unknown species has to be studied in great detail before any considerations about an appropriate treatment can be made.“

„You just made that up.”

“Did not.”

He smiled. “The law should be obeyed.”

“Absolutely.”

And then they made love again, while the first rays of sunshine came through the bedroom windows.

***

“You work like a machine,” Maris said as she walked out onto the terrace, the ocean glittering in the background the sun already high up in the air.

“We got out of bed when? Twenty - thirty minutes ago? And while I somehow managed to drag my body out of bed and used the bathroom, you washed and dressed up, made breakfast, and look like you have had a couple of important meetings already.”

“No meetings. But I admit I am not one for relaxing.” He said almost apologetically.

“I like the dress, by the way.” He said and pointed at Maris’s white beach dress.

“Thank you.” With a broad smile, she sank down on the chair opposite of him and reached out for a roll.

“Busy writing on your report again?” Maris asked, looking at his datapad.

“Yes. I had an idea.”

“Will you ever tell me what all of this is about?” She asked then, over her black and unsweetened coffee, while running her fingers through her still untidy hair.

Thrawn placed the datapad on the table and then looked at her for a moment.

“I’m not allowed to talk about my current mission.”

She laughed, despite herself. “Well, it was worth a try.”

“But the security instructions did not talk about my first command.”

She glanced up at him with surprise. _Had he really just done that?_ Slowly she put the coffee back down and looked at him, a boyish smile on her face.

“What happened during your first command?”

He returned her smile. “I grew up.”

“Very funny.”

“But I did. It happened five years before I met you. My home planet, Csilla, the very heart of the Ascendancy, was attacked. It was an orbital bombardment and our planetary shields just deactivated themselves. We had no idea what had happened and who was behind it. By the time, I had just finished the Academy; I was the youngest cadet ever to graduate and felt as if nothing could stop me.”

He reached for his own coffee then and took a sip.

“I was given the task to locate and evaluate the enemy.” He inhaled deeply and then sighed. “And was arrogant enough never to question why I, who had no field-experience whatsoever, was given such an important assignment.”

“I can hardly imagine.” Maris joked. Yes, if Thrawn had any flaws, his confidence was one of them.

“What I found out was worse than anything I could have imagined.” He explained. “It had been my own people. Chiss in high positions who had cooperated with the enemy, a vicious alien race called the Grysks. I only saw their battleships once and had to pay a high price. I lost half of my fleet and returned home with nothing but accusations against some aristocrats for which I had no proof. It was a disaster.” He said, taking one of the rolls from the basket. “I was faced with a military investigation, but the Mitth family emphasized my inexperience and good grades at court, and so, instead of kicking me out, I was demoted and my good friend Ar’alani became the rising star of the DEF.”

Maris gaped at him. “You’re kidding.”

Thrawn shook his head. “I wish I were.”

“It must be hard for her being your superior officer while knowing she was only second choice.”

He shrugged. “Perhaps. We never talked about it, but Ar’alani and I have known each other for a long time, she’s a capable officer and a friend. Besides, what happened was hardly her fault. ”

“No.” Maris agreed. “But it is likely you were set up.”

“Yes, they never intended me to succeed, I was just a pawn in their game and I failed to see it right from the start. For all the talent I possess on the battlefield, I lack political savvy. Thrass told me so on numerous occasions, but I was too proud to listen to my older brother. Back then the idea that a political fraction, no matter how divided the houses might be, would collaborate with an enemy of the Chiss to gain power was….unimaginable.”

“You were young.”

“I was too trusting in my own kind.” He smiled. “An error I have corrected since then.”

“Did you ever found out what happened?”

He shook his head. “I had some theories, but the Grysks disappeared just as suddenly as they had appeared.”

“Until now,” Maris said.

“Perhaps.” She nodded in understanding, so this was where the story started he couldn’t talk about. He definitely had let the door open, so if she were to ask the right questions….

“Back in the battle, why did you suffer such a devastating blow?”

“Their ships were larger and technologically further advanced than ours.”

“Are Star Destroyers more advanced than Chiss ships?” She tried carefully.

“I am not a liberty to discuss Chiss technology with outsiders.” He said almost mechanically.

“Let me reformulate the question then: Would the Imperial Navy be able to stop the Grysks?”

“The Imperial Navy is very impressive, especially in its size, but also in turns of equipment, the Grysks would find it hard to win a large-scale war against the Empire. Especially so, if we would join our forces and share technologies.”

“So, theoretically speaking: The Empire could help you. If these Grysks are really that bad, they might pose a threat to the Empire too and Palpatine is very much pushing for the Unknown Regions.”

“Theoretically speaking: The Empire doesn’t help. It conquers.”

_That was certainly true, but…_

“Wouldn’t that be better than annihilation?”

“The Ascendency will never bow to a foreign force.” Maris remembered him saying something very similar on the _Springhawk_ and smiled sadly. As clever as he was, Thrawn apparently was determined to retain the dogma of his people. Either because he had been subjected to it for all his life or because he too believed in it. But this, of course, had been said by people and aliens alike and in the end, all of them had been conquered by the Empire. Imperial rule was not a choice. Maris studied his profile for a while, calculating whether it was worth confronting him with this, albeit uncomfortable, truth. No, he probably knew that, which in turn meant that the Chiss truly would die before surrender. But that was – very unreasonable. It was probably their pride, as of that they had plenty, and the man in front of her was no exception.

“If you believe that, copying our technology might offer a way out,” Maris suggested.

“The public information is outdated or restricted, but even if it wasn’t, some things cannot be copied.” He took a bite of bread and cheese and then looked at her again. “The Ascendency is tiny in comparison, Maris. We lack resources and personnel. On a space map, the Ascendency looks large, but it only features five habitable planets and all of them come with a terrible climate. Plus, we do not get along with our neighbors, nor with each other.”

“I really think you should ask for Imperial protection.”

“We need it.” He agreed.

“But you just said…”

“I know what I said. But perhaps I found a third way.”

Maris laughed.

“There is no third way with the Empire.”

“There might just be; and you, my dear, are the one who helped me find it.”

**TBC**


	12. Chapter 12

When times are good, time flies by and so farewell came far too soon. As always, Maris tried to be her cheerful self, but every now and then during the last days, she’d noticed Thrawn being deep in thoughts. He was not happy and, if nothing else, that made her sad. Indeed, he was having nightmares, tossing and turning in his sleep. Sometimes he even said something, but she couldn’t understand him. Then, in his mind, he was already gone, then he was back in the Ascendancy. When he was awake he was a good liar, he could make her believe everything, but deep down Maris knew that he was struggling, that he was discontent. He had been with her, yes, but one part of his mind had always been in space. So this was probably for the best.

They stood in a tiny, dirty corner of Corellia’s Main Space Port.

“So this is goodbye.”

Maris nodded. “Yes.” She swallowed. “Goodbye to some things and…” She forced a smile on her face. “… hello to others.” She brushed away some invisible dust from his jacket. “Something tells me you will go far, Commander Mith'raw'nurodo.”

“Do not lie to me, Maris. I can see you are in pain. If you do this for me, I ask you to stop.”

“I don’t know why I do it.” She whispered, tears threatening to escape. “Perhaps for you, perhaps because I promised myself not to try to stop you or perhaps because I’m too afraid to face the truth that I will never see you again.”

She was crying. Damn it. “Sorry, I didn’t want to ….” She tried to whip the tears away, but there were new ones coming.

He pulled her into a wordless embrace.

“Promise me, you won’t forget me,” Maris said after a moment, a little desperate.

“I promise.” He placed a brief kiss on her forehead. “I know this will change nothing, but if I were free to love, I would love you.”

“I love you too,” Maris whispered and then bit her lower lip in an unsuccessful attempt not to think about a life in which they could have been happy together, as happy as they had been here, at the ocean, in the beach house, she in that white summer dress and him - just looking handsome. It had been perfect. Thrawn was the love of her life and the fact that their story was about to have a tragic ending didn’t change that.

“I always liked kissing you, Maris Ferasi.”

She laughed. “I’d hoped so.”

“Be safe and be happy.”

“You too.”

It was a strange feeling – kissing your lover goodbye forever. You hold on for longer and stronger, and a part of you is 100% sure that this is indeed not the end. That something so good will not end here, cannot end here. That feeling lasts long, sometimes for days, sometimes for months, but, eventually, it dies and only then realization hits and when it does it hits hard.

***

A WEEK LATER, CSILLA

“We have read your report. So you suggest infiltrating the Imperial Navy?” A Chiss woman in blue said.

“I do,” Thrawn answered.

“And you are confident in your abilities to do so?”

“As confident as anyone in my position can be. Plus, there is no one else who possesses my level of language skill, I still have some problems with sayings and slang, but I will find a solution for that. My military expertise will also be helpful.”

“Your military expertise is why we need you here, Commander Mith'raw'nurodo. Times are unstable and a commander of your caliber cannot be replaced.” Ar’alani said. She was not part of the council, but now she was here as a military adviser. 

“Thank you, Admiral, but in this case, I do believe that I can help the Ascendancy better from afar.”

“This is risky at best. What if they find out you’re spying on them?” A younger man in yellow, marking him as a representative of House Chaf, asked.

“I would most likely die. A risk I am willing to take for the good of the Ascendancy.”

“Thank you, Commander Mith'raw'nurodo. The Council will decide now.” The oldest man at the center position said then.

Ar’alani choked down her Normady juice as she watched him leave the room. She had read the report and she knew Thrawn. It was not just about the good of the Ascendancy. He had always been dissatisfied, he had pushed the limits whenever and wherever he could and Humanity had tempted him from the very first second. _What if he didn’t return? What if he would commit the ultimate treason?_ No one here seemed to consider that possibility, but Thrawn was not like the others and he had been betrayed too. She liked Thrawn and acknowledged his military skill and wished not to think like this of him but Thrawn was a liability. Thrawn was arrogant and often thought that he alone knew what was best, he ignored orders and he was emotional. He had learnt well how to formulate his words just right, how to fit like a glove to Chiss aristocracy, but she had known him for too long to know that he despised it.

“I guess we have little alternatives.” The older Chiss muttered. “Let us decide now. Everyone in favor of Commander Mith'raw'nurodo’s plan raises his hand.”

The decision was a close one, but the plan was approved.

“Why were you against it, Admiral?” A woman in purple inquired while reaching for a glass of water.

“Because whatever information Commander Mith'raw'nurodo can give us, probably won’t be enough and a mission like this can just as easily backfire.”

“Backfire? His psychological profile proves his loyalty.” A man in blue said quickly, studying Thrawn’s file again.

“Perhaps. But there are many forms of loyalty, your excellency. You can be loyal to your believes and values, for example.” There was a long pause. She was unsure whether or not she should voice her concern about the Ferasi woman. She still had trouble understanding it herself. She had been unambitious, naïve, and in a way sweetly weak and totally in love with the Commander. It would have been pathetic if he hadn’t acted strangely around her too. Thrawn had so much potential. He could have so many women and he was engaged to a very rich and very attractive Chiss woman and he did not care at all! For no woman, actually. Not that she could remember at least. He had had sex with some girls during his academy years, or at least she believed so. But never had he looked at any of them like he had looked at Ferasi. Perhaps it was her good-nature and weakness that attracted him? She did not know, but it had made her hair stand on edge when she had read her name in the report. Of all the people, why had he gone to her? His report made it all sound logical, but was it? Thrawn had been raised a commoner. His parents had married for love, was there perhaps a childish part of him that still idolized this form of relationship? Perhaps in rebellion to the fate of every merit adopted? Thrawn hated not being in control and he liked to rebel. And he was loyal. A very dangerous combination.

“A soldier’s loyalty lies first and foremost with his people and his men, whereas a man’s loyalty often resides with his partner, his family.”

“Are you suggesting he is interested in female aliens?” The women in purple asked, obviously surprised, if not disgusted.

“I suggest we should save him from becoming a divided man.” Ar’alani said.

Another old Chiss in dark, green robes laughed quietly.

“It seems you have grown wise beyond your years, Admiral. She is rather beautiful, for an alien that is.”

He put Maris’s photo on a larger screen.

“But….It would be highly irregular to marry a merit-adopted so soon.” The representative in red, of Thrawn’s own house, said. _Did he perhaps know Thrawn’s fiancé?_

“Everything in Mith'raw'nurodo’s life has happened too soon, why not this as well?” Ar’alani said boisterously.

“Yes, but if what you are implying is indeed true, the Commander might not be pleased with our decision.” The elder Chiss said quietly.

“The future of the Ascendancy always has to be paramount.“ Ar’alani insisted.

“I quite agree.” The Chiss said then and reactivated the datapad. “Let us proceed then. This planet the Commander suggested, Boganeese, where is it?”

“Right at the edge of Imperial Space.” Ar’alani explained. “It would be easy to draw their attention to it.”

**TBC**


	13. Chapter 13

**Epilogue** 

YEARS LATER

CORUSCANT, IMPERIAL NAVY AND ARMY HEADQUARTERS

It was the first time they met on Coruscant, in the Grand Admiral’s office. Captain Pellaeon carefully looked around. This was so different from the Admiral’s second bridge/art gallery/office on board the _Chimera_.

It was pretty light and there was lots of glass and polished metal. Every detail of it spoke modern and clean and all in all, it was pretty much “all business”, but not without a refined style and taste.

“The repairs will take some time, but the damage wasn't as bad as I thought. I think we can get everything done here within thirty hours.” Pellaeon said optimistically.

“Very good.”

Suddenly the doorbell chimed and the Grand Admiral pressed a button on the table.

Interesting technology, Pellaeon thought. He had heard about these data-display-tables that were as much a computer as they were a table. Those would be good to have onboard the Chimera, but the investment would probably be too high.

“What is it?” The measured voice of the Grand Admiral asked.

“It’s Mr. Mason from the _Smith Corellian_ _Property Group_ again. He’s really persistent, Sir.” A female voice declared.

"Let him in."

The Chiss signed and then leaned back in his chair before the door opened and a young blonde, rather enthusiastic Human entered the room.

“Grand Admiral Thrawn, I’m so happy to finally get through to you.”

He waited for the Chiss to offer him to sit down, which did not happen.

“Perhaps I should leave?” Pellaeon offered.

“No need, Captain. This won’t take long.”

The young man got the hint, but like every good salesman he kept on with the show.

“Well, I’m happy to tell you that Mr. Smith from the _Smith Corellian_ _Property Group_ is willing to double the price for the beach house. 15 million credits. But that is his last offer. You see, if you sell the house now, your profit would be considerable, bearing in mind how much you paid for it … ”

The Chiss stopped him by raising his hand.

“Enough, Mr. Mason. I told Mr. Smith quite clearly that the property is not for sale.”

“But the city council approved his developing plan for the region. Your house is the last one on that cliff that’s not part of the _Smith Corellian_ _Property Group_. And would you really want to live there once the large hotel complex has been built?”

“As long as there is still private property on that cliff, you won’t get a building license, that’s how it is, Mr. Mason and I do not care for the money and that is the last I will say about this topic, except perhaps that if Mr. Smith ever tries to purchase my property again, I will buy the _Smith Corellian_ _Property Group_ and then tear it apart before selling off its pieces.“

Captain Pellaeon had rarely seen the Chiss so angry, his eyes glowing more fiercely than ever.

“I see.” Nervously the Human quickly put the contract back into his bag.

“Well then, gentlemen, have a nice day.”

Pellaeon studied the Chiss as the Human left the Grand Admiral’s office.

“I didn’t know you owned property on Corellia.”

“It’s hardly worth mentioning. A small beach house near Bella Vista.”

“Bella Vista? I’m from Corellia, I know the place. It’s a good region, but it has seen better days. Perhaps you should have taken that offer. 15 million seems a lot for Bella Vista.”

Thrawn shook his head.

“I know my decision is unreasonable, Captain.”

_Unreasonable? When had Thrawn’s decisions ever been unreasonable?_

“May I ask why? You could have better houses.”

Thrawn sighed and looked out of the window for a moment.

“I was young, and she was beautiful.”

“Ah.” Slightly embarrassed Pelleaon looked down at his datapad, but when he looked up again, he smiled.

“To me, that doesn’t sound unreasonable at all.”

**THE END**

**A/N:** So, it’s done. It’s sweet, so much so that it makes me cringe at points and I’m not sure how happy I’m with this fanfiction. My teenage self would have loved it, as it is sweet, it hurts no one, there is no explicit sex, no violence and it doesn’t challenge anyone’s believes or values either. I guess the older you get, and the more fanfictions and books you have read, you understand that the stuff that really gets to you is not the sweet and easy evening entertainment. But, taking into account that Maris Ferasi is a very limited character and that English is not my mother tongue, I guess I can live with it. It would have been very hard and, let’s face it, time-consuming, to produce such a story, though it would have been possible. Diving deeper into Chiss culture for example would have offered some great possibilities or exploring the question whether Maris, through her knowledge, might have become too much of a liability for the Chiss (and would Thrawn be able to see her die?). Also, Thrawn is too nice in this one. There is no scene in which we see his dark side, but I couldn’t find a way to squeeze it in. Well, it’s a nice story and that’s as far as I would go. I just had this thought that Thrawn’s Basic was too good when he met Eli and I asked myself how could he have known so much about Imperial standard procedure to stage his exile in order to be picked up by the Empire? And then I thought it might be a good idea to let them meet again. Maris was in love with him and would do pretty much everything for him and Thrawn loves knowledge. Her instructing him about Humanity would have been heaven for both of them, so I thought – why not write it? Did they see each other again or will they in the future? I don’t know.

All in all, I hoped you enjoyed it (despite its many flaws). And I admit the fangirl in me still hopes that Zahn will not forget about Maris Ferasi and all the potential she offered. She had this unique quality that made Thrawn want to be a better person. They had very different political views, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she had ended up in the Rebellion, but still, there was this invisible bond that drew them to each other. I like to believe they would have been good for each other, compensating one another. But I do not dare to hope and for that we have fanfictions.

Thanks for reading!


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